Our happiness, our responsibility?

If I were to ask you, “Is your happiness your responsibility?” What would your honest answer be? Please be true to yourself, avoiding any response aimed at appearing wise or clever. Do you genuinely believe that your happiness lies solely within your control, and that nobody else, not your family, friends, or spouse, is responsible for keeping you happy?

If your answer is a resolute “yes,” then you probably resonate with the perspective I am about to delve into in the upcoming paragraphs. On the other hand, if you believe that your friends, partners, or loved ones bear some responsibility for your mood or happiness, then the following paragraphs might be more relevant for you. Whether you find yourself in agreement with my opinions or not, I intend to present my thoughts openly, allowing you to form your own conclusions.

It’s a common occurrence that we tend to become dependent on our friends, family, or romantic partners, and start attributing a portion of our emotional well-being to them. Specifically, I’d like to focus on the feeling of happiness today, as it is something I frequently hear people complain about in my surroundings. It seems like every other person I talk to is expressing dissatisfaction about their friends not dedicating enough time or attention to them, being too occupied to meet up, and so on. To those individuals, I have an important message to convey.

So now, it’s a conversation between me and you, and I hope you will read to understand and not to take offence from it.

Dear you,

As you navigate through the journey of growing up, you may find that your friends are gradually drifting away from you. They might be preoccupied with their lives, not calling or meeting as frequently as before. It's natural to feel a sense of unease and loneliness during such transitions, and you might find yourself overthinking or feeling anxious. Sometimes, it may seem like everyone else is moving forward while you're left behind. However, I want to assure you that this is not the case.

As people grow and mature, their priorities evolve, and change is an integral part of life. There is nothing wrong with your friends focusing on their personal growth, careers, and responsibilities. It's important to understand that they do not owe you their time or attention. While it may sound harsh, it's a reality I won't sugarcoat. Nobody owes anyone their time or care. When people show concern or take responsibility for you, it is because they choose to do so, not out of obligation.

Similarly, you also have a life to lead, and it is your responsibility to pursue personal growth, build a career, and create a fulfilling life for yourself. Your happiness lies within your control.

Here's an essential truth to consider: when your happiness depends on the actions or presence of someone else, it becomes temporary and fleeting. You become reliant on them, and the fear of missing out or losing them creeps in. This fear can trap you in a cycle of insecurity and dependency. 

To break free from this, it's crucial to understand that your happiness should not be contingent on anyone else in this world. People may come and go in your life, but the only constant companion you have is yourself. Therefore, your happiness should be self-sustaining, rooted in your own sense of contentment and fulfillment.

I hope this message resonates with you, as it is meant for your well-being and growth. Embracing independence will benefit no one else but yourself.

Yours truly,
Harshika

Xoxo