I decided to write about this topic today because my mind is overflowing, and writing is my way to let it all out. First and foremost, let me clarify that I’m no expert; I’m simply sharing my thoughts. If any of this offends you, I apologize. Feel free to stop reading. Xoxo. Now, let’s get to the heart of the matter.
Unloved Yet Caring
Watching and hearing people discuss moving on or unloving somebody inspired me to address this issue. Firstly, in my opinion, you can’t truly unlove someone. You can’t erase that love just because things didn’t work out. While you may not be “in love” with them anymore, a part of you will always care for them.
Redefining Moving On
Moving forward, I’ve seen popular figures advise their audiences to show what the other person lost and make them regret it as the best way to move on. Frankly, I find this notion absurd. Telling yourself that you need to glow up to make them realize their mistake implies you weren’t good enough in the first place. You’re essentially saying that your value is tied to their perception of you. It’s a terrible approach. You don’t need others to recognize your worth. If they do, great; if not, that’s their choice. Don’t let other people’s opinions define you.
Suggestions for Moving On
In my view, for those who’ve been deeply in love and suffered heartbreak, here are my suggestions for moving on:
Letting Go
Letting go is never easy. Don’t let anyone tell you that your feelings are too much. You’re entitled to feel however you feel. You don’t need validation from others. Allow yourself to grieve. Don’t keep it inside; otherwise, your soul will keep crying for another heartbreak until you learn the lesson.
Understanding Individual Healing Pace
If you’re the kind of person who downplays heartbreaks to your friends or family, suggesting that they’re not a big deal or that they’re grieving for too long, please reconsider. Everyone heals at their own pace. Just because you healed quickly doesn’t mean they will. They might have multiple traumas triggered by one breakup or loss.
Navigating the Tough Phase
When things become messy and you part ways with someone you thought would be in your life forever, it’s going to be tough. You might feel a physical heaviness, as I did a few months ago. Don’t hold back; cry as much as you need to. It’s okay. It might get messy, and you may not want to talk to anyone or even get out of bed, but don’t let these feelings consume you. Remember, you’re grieving to overcome this phase, not to stay stuck in it.
Listening to motivational speakers or reading the stories of those who’ve emerged from similar situations can be incredibly helpful during this time.
Acceptance After Grieving
Once the tears have subsided and you’ve given yourself weeks or months to grieve, what you need is Acceptance. This phase can be challenging because we often want to blame our ex-partner for the pain they caused. However, the key is acceptance. We create assumptions about why people act as they do, which only harms us.
Taking Responsibility
Stop blaming your ex. They may have shown red flags that you ignored because you desperately wanted the relationship to work. Acceptance means acknowledging that they’re not solely responsible for everything. Hold yourself accountable for allowing their actions to hurt you repeatedly. Accept what happened without assumptions, and avoid the urge to blame them.
Self Love
Finally, once you’ve healed from past traumas, it’s time to embrace self-love and become the best version of yourself. Seek happiness within you. Research self-love and spirituality, engaging in activities that bring you joy without harming others. Whenever life throws challenges at you, view them as lessons, not punishments.
Trauma as a Guide
Your traumas aren’t there to punish you; they’re meant to guide you and show you different facets of life. Even if you experienced terrible things in your past, such as abuse or trauma, try to understand that life’s complexities go beyond simple explanations.
Meditation’s Positive Impact
A quick mention on meditation: it’s incredibly helpful. Personally, I’m seeing positive results from it. Remember, you only have one life, and it’s impossible to understand every person out there. However, you can fully understand yourself.
Moving On and Personal Progress
Lastly, some of you might wonder if you’re not ready to move on from a person you believe is “the one.” Keep in mind that relationships end for a reason, and working on yourselves individually might lead to a reunion down the road. Focus on growth, and if it’s meant to be, it will happen. Don’t let this fear hinder your personal progress. Go out, fall in love with life, and cherish yourself.
Sending love. Stay safe and healthy.
– eika ©
EIKA 